Why Being a ‘Strong Parent’ Means Showing Your Own Vulnerability

The Christmas I Had Nothing to Give

What if the strongest thing you can do as a parent is cry in front of your kids?

What if strength doesn’t look like having it all together, but instead, being honest when it’s all falling apart?

I used to think strong parenting meant keeping emotions hidden: not crying, not showing weakness, not letting them see you struggle.

But a few years ago, life broke me open.

I had lost the business I spent 20 years building.
I had gone through a nasty divorce.
And I was still trying to survive the unthinkable, losing my daughter Maddie to suicide.

There were days I couldn’t get out of bed. Paying the bills felt impossible.
And then Christmas came.

I sat my two boys down and told them the truth:
“This year… Christmas is going to be really sparse.”

I was out of energy, out of money, and out of excuses.
I’d spent too long trying to compete with the other side.
Trying to “keep up.”

But I couldn’t anymore.

I expected disappointment.

Instead, they hugged me.
They told me they loved me.
No gifts. Just connection.
Tears, yes. But so much love.

Why Vulnerability Is a Strength, Not a Weakness

I realized this truth:
Being a strong parent doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being real.

We think our job as parents is to protect.
But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is let our kids in.
Tell them the truth. Let them see the struggle.

They don’t need the illusion of perfection.
They need to know it’s okay to feel lost sometimes.
They need to see how we process pain, bounce back, and keep going.

When you let them see the cracks, they learn having their own is okay.

Divorced Parents: Stop Competing for Love

If you’re co-parenting or navigating divorce, hear this clearly:

Stop trying to compete with the other side.

It’s a fool’s race and not what your kids need.
You don’t win by outspending.
You win by showing up with love, presence, and truth.

Kids remember emotional connection, not price tags. They remember you spending hours upon hours at hockey practice. They remember you being there, always. They remember the time you spent together and the discussions you had.
They remember hugs, eye contact, bedtime talks, and shared tears.
That’s what makes them feel safe. That’s what builds resilient kids.

Say “I Don’t Know” and Mean It

There’s power in telling your kids:
“I don’t have all the answers.”
“Let’s figure this out together.”
“I’m struggling too, but I’m here.”

That’s not weakness. That’s leadership.

When you model emotional vulnerability, your kids learn to process their feelings.
They learn that being human is okay.

Celebrate the Distance You’ve Travelled

If you’re in a hard season, remember this:
Measure your progress by where you started, not where you wish you were.

That’s what I try to teach my boys.
Not perfection, but perspective.
Not comparison, but growth.

Because that’s how we raise emotionally strong, self-aware kids.
By showing them what real resilience looks like.

The Real Definition of a Strong Parent

Being a strong parent doesn’t mean having everything figured out.
It means showing up, especially when life is hard.
It means letting your kids see you cry… and still keep going.

It means saying, “I love you,” when there’s no gift to give.
It means being honest, vulnerable, and human.

That’s what real strength looks like.