The One Thing That Separates a Great Mentor from a Bad One
Good Mentors vs. Great Mentors: The Key Difference No One Talks About
I’ve had mentors who changed my life. And I’ve had others who barely made a dent.
The difference? The one thing that separates a great mentor from a bad one is the alignment between their words and actions.
A great mentor doesn’t just tell you what to do. They live it. They embody the values they preach. They guide you by example, not just by advice.
A bad mentor? They talk about integrity but cut corners. They say they believe in discipline but don’t practice it. They tell you to chase excellence while settling for mediocrity themselves.
You can’t learn from someone you don’t trust. And you can’t trust someone whose actions don’t match their words.
Here’s what a good mentor actually looks like and how to spot the ones who truly make an impact.
More Than Just Advice—A True Guide
When I was starting my Finish Line Group business, It was about six months before Maddie’s first suicide attempt. I was feeling desperately alone. When you’re reeling from grief, it may not be the time to start your own business. I wasn’t thinking rationally, about anything. I didn’t consult anyone. I didn’t want advice. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. Riddled with self-doubt and sadness.
A mentor would’ve guided me, had I been willing to listen.
“What’s your goal here?”
“What are you afraid of?”
“What happens if this fails?”
At the time, it frustrated me. I wanted shortcuts, not self-reflection. I realize that was the real value. A mentor doesn’t just hand you a roadmap. They help you see the options you never considered.
Trust: The Foundation of Every Great Mentorship
You can’t learn from someone you don’t trust. You also can’t authentically share with someone you don’t trust.
The best mentors don’t just show up when it’s convenient. They’re present, reliable, and invested in your growth. They don’t have all the answers, but they take the time to understand you.
A bad mentor? They’re distracted. They make promises they don’t keep. They say all the right things but don’t back them up with action.
A great mentor makes you feel safe enough to be honest about your fears, doubts, and mistakes. That kind of trust is where real mentorship impact happens.
Knows When to Push and When to Listen
Some of my best lessons came from a mentor who looked me in the eye and said, “You’re making excuses.”
It stung. But they were right.
Good mentors know when to push you out of your comfort zone. They challenge you when they see you holding back. But they also know when to step back and listen.
Sometimes, you don’t need advice; you just need someone to listen. A great mentor can tell the difference.
Leads by Example, Not Just Words
I once had a manager who constantly talked about integrity. But behind closed doors, he bent the rules when it suited him. Ironically, I owe him gratitude for setting me off on my entrepreneurial journey.
Their words meant nothing.
A mentor’s real influence comes from how they live, not what they say. You learn just as much from watching their actions as from their advice.
When your mentor is talking about the merits of a reduced alcohol diet while having three double martinis, that’s not leading a congruent lifestyle. Their advice loses credibility because their actions don’t match their words.
This is the one thing that separates a great mentor from a bad one. They don’t just talk the talk; they walk the walk.
The best mentors don’t just preach about resilience, hard work, and honesty. They embody it.
Helps You Build Confidence, Not Dependence
A bad mentor makes you feel like you can’t succeed without them.
A great mentor gives you the tools to succeed on your own.
They don’t want followers, they want leaders. They push you to make decisions, trust yourself, and take ownership of your path.
The goal isn’t to rely on them forever. The goal is to outgrow them.
Keeps It Real: Honesty Without Crushing Spirits
The best mentors don’t sugarcoat things.
They’ll tell you when you’re wrong. They’ll point out weaknesses you didn’t see. But they do it in a way that makes you want to improve, not give up.
There’s a big difference between constructive feedback and criticism. One helps you grow. The other makes you feel small.
A great mentor knows how to challenge you without making you doubt yourself.
Stays in Your Corner, Even When You Struggle
Some people disappear when things get hard. A good mentor doesn’t.
I’ve had people believe in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. And that made all the difference.
A great mentor reminds you of your progress when you feel stuck. They help you see how far you’ve come. They celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
Even if the mentorship ends, their impact lasts.
Leaves a Lasting Impact
The best mentors don’t just teach you skills. They change the way you see yourself.
I can still hear the words of those who mentored me years ago. I still carry their lessons with me. That’s the mark of a great mentor, not someone who helps you with one problem but who shapes how you approach life.
If you’re looking for a mentor, find someone who challenges you, listens to you, and practices what they preach.
And if you’re in a position to mentor someone else? Show up. Be honest. Lead by example.
The best mentors don’t just help people succeed; they help them believe in themselves.
