What If Emotional Intelligence Became the New Standard of Success?

I went to university with a brilliant guy named “Ben”.

Ben graduated top of his class. Straight A’s. Scholarships everywhere. He had plenty of job offers coming out of school. On paper, he had everything you’d expect from someone destined for huge success.

But when life threw Ben some adversity—being passed over for job promotions, relationship challenges, and difficult conversations with his manager. He stumbled. His high IQ couldn’t help him manage disappointment, adapt to setbacks, or empathize with the feelings of those around him.

Ben struggled to connect with others, professionally and personally. He wasn’t prepared for how messy life can be. He had succeeded in the world of academia, but struggled dealing with the emotional events of life.

What if emotional intelligence, not IQ, was the real secret to success?

IQ Opens Doors, EQ Keeps Them Open

We’ve all grown up believing intelligence and academic achievement were the gold standard. Get good grades, secure a great job, and success will follow.

But the truth is, IQ might get you hired, but EQ decides if you’ll thrive.

I never will be the smartest guy in the room, but I’d like to believe I could be the most empathetic. Life’s hard experiences teach us more about ourselves than an exam score.

• High-IQ people losing dream jobs because they couldn’t handle stress, relationships or conflict.

• Brilliant individuals overlooked for leadership roles because they lacked empathy.

• Talented teens falling apart under pressure because no one taught them how to handle their emotions.

Your intellect might land the job, but it won’t help you manage conflicts, navigate office politics, or lead a team.

Your emotional intelligence does that.

What is a greater predictor of success, EQ or IQ?

The Tale of Two Leaders

I’ve worked with two types of leaders:

• Leader #1: Technically gifted, incredibly smart, but emotionally void. Their team was unhappy, turnover was high, and morale was low.

• Leader #2: Good at their job, but exceptional with people. They knew how to listen, understand, and inspire their team. Everyone around them flourished.

The difference wasn’t IQ, it was EQ.

Which leader would you follow?

What Teens Need to Learn

Think about your kids in school today. They study math, science, and English. But are they learning empathy, self-awareness, or emotional resilience?

Probably not.

My daughter, Maddie, was a bright kid; talented, social, and athletic. But even she struggled quietly because no one taught her how to handle difficult emotions. Kids are not taught how to understand and process their emotions. They’re expected to figure it out on their own or eventually through life’s complex lessons. But you’re not going to be great at it at first. It will prove challenging. These skills take practice and real life experiences.

Schools measure success by grades. But life doesn’t.

Emotional intelligence equips teens to:

• Handle stress effectively.

• Navigate relationships confidently.

• Bounce back from setbacks stronger.

Would things have turned out differently if Maddie’s school had prioritized EQ as much as grades?

I don’t know. But I believe they might have. But what about the future Maddies out there?

Can You Teach Emotional Intelligence? Absolutely.

The good news: EQ can be taught, nurtured, and strengthened. It's a skill, just like math or science.

Here’s how we can start right now:

• Teach emotional literacy. Help teens identify, label, and understand their emotions.

• Encourage vulnerability. Let kids express what they're really feeling, without judgment.

• Practice empathy daily. Small gestures, like active listening or validating emotions, build stronger relationships and healthier minds.

A Better Measure of Success

The world is shifting. Companies, universities, and families are realizing that your GPA or SAT scores don’t measure true success, but by your ability to connect, communicate, and thrive through life’s challenges.

Is there an opportunity for high schools and universities to offer electives on EQ? Those who want to flourish in life will recognize the connection between the two.

Imagine a future where:

• Leaders lead with empathy first.

• Relationships matter more than resumes.

• Schools teach kids not only calculus, but compassion.

That’s the world our teens and young adults need exposure to!

How to Get Started Today

If you’re a parent, teacher, leader, or just someone who cares, start the conversation today:

• Ask your kids: “How are you feeling?” (and listen).

• Encourage emotional honesty at home and work.

• Prioritize kindness and empathy in your actions.

Because emotional intelligence isn’t just good for relationships, it’s vital for life.

The Call to Action

IQ might make you smart. But EQ makes you successful, connected, and truly fulfilled.

Let’s redefine success together.

Start building EQ today.
Start listening differently.
Start talking openly.

It might just change your teen’s life, or even your own.