The Grieving Brain: Why Loss Hijacks Your Mind, And How to Take Back Control

The Grieving Brain: Why Trauma Feels Like Brain Fog and How to Reduce It

I used to think I had developed ADHD.

After Maddie passed, my brain stopped working the way it used to. I’d forget why I walked into a room. I’d start a conversation and completely lose my train of thought mid-sentence. The slightest noise, someone tapping a pen, a car honking outside, felt like a cannon going off in my head. Accomplishing tasks got really hard.

Five years after losing her, I finally asked my doctor if I had adult ADHD.

His response was blunt but made complete sense:

“You’ve suffered an extremely traumatic loss. You’re a terrible sleeper. You’re constantly under stress and pressure. Of course, you’re struggling to focus.”

Grief isn’t just emotional; it’s neurological. And if you’ve been through a profound loss or trauma, you’ve probably felt it too.

How Grief Rewires the Brain

Losing someone you love isn’t just painful. It physically alters the brain. Studies show that grief activates the same brain areas involved in attention, memory, and emotional regulation. It hijacks your ability to concentrate, process information, and even make simple decisions.

That’s why trauma can mimic symptoms of:

• ADHD – Constant distraction, trouble focusing, and impulsivity.

• PTSD – Heightened sensitivity to sounds, intrusive thoughts, and emotional dysregulation.

• Cognitive Decline – Forgetfulness, brain fog, and struggling with words.

This isn’t just “being emotional.” It’s your brain on overload.

The Labrador Brain: Why Grief Feels Like Mental QuickSand

Some days, my brain feels like a Labrador Retriever, full of energy, eager to go, but easily distracted by every passing squirrel. Other days, it’s like trudging through quicksand: slow, heavy, and exhausted before I even start.

If you’ve ever:

• Walked into a room and forgotten why you’re there.

• Zoned out in the middle of conversations.

• Felt completely drained by simple tasks.

• Gotten easily frustrated over small things.

Then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

How to Help Reduce the Fog

The good news? The brain can heal. But it takes intentional effort. Here are a few things that help:

1. Prioritize Sleep

Lack of sleep amplifies brain fog. Set a routine. No screens before bed. Try guided meditations or white noise.

2. Reduce Cognitive Overload

Too many decisions drain mental energy. Simplify where you can: same breakfast every morning, fewer commitments, and one goal at a time.

3. Write Everything Down

Don’t rely on memory. Use lists, reminders, and notes. It offloads mental strain and helps you stay on track.

4. Limit Stimulants

Caffeine and sugar spikes lead to crashes. Go for steady energy: protein, healthy fats, and hydration.

5. Move Your Body

Exercise isn’t just good for the body, it rewires the brain. Even a short walk improves focus and mood.

6. Give Yourself Grace

You’re not broken. Your brain is healing. On hard days, be kind to yourself.

A Tool for Clearing the Fog

If grief has left you feeling mentally scattered, I completely relate. About 5 years ago, I put together a free Brain Fog Guide, packed with science-backed strategies to regain focus, boost memory, and feel more like yourself again.

[Download it here.] I hope it helps you. Truthfully, I utilized many of these things some years ago, and they ALL worked—some better than others. I stopped doing my routine after a couple of years of positive results, and now I’m back where I was again five years ago.

If you’ve been in the fog, what’s helped you find clarity?