Wake Up Parents: Navigating Teen Mental Illness and Protecting Our Children

Last month, I had the privilege of being invited to speak to a group of grade 7 and 8 parents about teen mental illness, sharing the lessons we learned from our experiences with Madeline, and discussing the goals of The Maddie Project. A date was scheduled, and I summarized the topics I would cover. An agenda was sent out to all parents in the school, allowing them to express their interest in attending.

This wasn't the first time schools had approached me to speak to parents and children. If I can share our experiences and what we went through, perhaps it can help prevent another family from facing a similar fate.

However, the night before the scheduled discussion, I received a call from the school coordinator, informing me that the engagement was being cancelled due to a lack of interest. There is a sense of irony in the fate of my speaking engagement and the very subject I wanted to discuss. The topic I had chosen was titled "Wake Up Parents, It Could Happen To You." While I'm not upset, I find it unfortunate that some parents display indifference or naivety. I hope I am mistaken and that all these parents are actively addressing these issues. Wake up, parents; it could happen to you.

The outline for my discussion that evening was as follows:

1. Every Parent's Nightmare: Losing a Child

- The tragedy that parents never want to imagine

- Reflecting on what could have been done differently

- Understanding that no child is immune to such circumstances

2. Keeping Your Kids Engaged in a Focused Activity

- Providing a sense of purpose and physical activity

- Recognizing the importance of intensity and individuality

- The slippery slope of losing purpose and focus

3. Divorce Affects Your Kids

- Prioritizing children's emotional well-being during divorce

- Minimizing negative impacts and unnecessary emotional exposure

- Exhausting all resources before proceeding with a divorce

4. Pushing Beyond the Usual Routine Responses

- Engaging in deeper conversations with children

- Understanding the true concerns of teenagers

- Acknowledging mental health, bullying, and substance abuse as priorities

5. Managing Electronic Devices

- Setting limits and managing screen time

- Promoting success, happiness, and healthy sleep patterns

- Leading by example and adhering to rules

6. One-on-One Time

- Developing individual relationships with each child

- Overcoming challenges and making time for meaningful interactions

- The importance of communication and bonding

7. Kids Want Boundaries

- Establishing clear boundaries and consequences

- Balancing boundaries with trust and independence

- Creating a safe and structured environment

8. Social Media

- Managing expectations and content

- Ensuring privacy and safe online practices

- Encouraging open communication and awareness

9. Hug Them Through the Anger

- Resolving conflicts with calmness and compassion

- Seeking resolution in public spaces

- Demonstrating love and support, even during disagreements

10. It's Alright To Admit You Don't Have All the Answers

- Embracing vulnerability and honesty as a parent

- Building trust and fostering better conversations

- Collaborating with your child to find answers together

I want to clarify that my intention is not to boast about being a better parent based on my experience with Madeline. I am sharing the misjudgments I made along the way, and perhaps there are other parents who were unaware of what they didn't know. Teen mental illness can strike unexpectedly or display warning signs well in advance. What remains consistent is that tragedy can occur in a fleeting moment, leaving no room for corrective action.

Let us all strive to be vigilant, proactive, and empathetic parents, for the well-being and future of our children.