The Hidden Face of Depression: What I've Learned on My Healing Journey
This morning, I woke up to a message in my Facebook inbox asking about situational depression. It's not uncommon - when you open up about your struggles, people often reach out. And you know what? I'm genuinely glad they do.
I'm not a therapist (though I sometimes joke that I play one on TV 😅), but I can share my experiences. Maybe they'll resonate with someone out there.
I don’t share for pity, nor am I struggling now. I do it because I believe I was given a gift to help others. It also helps me on my neverending journey to heal, even though I know it will be a lifelong pursuit.
So many suffer in silence, carrying around shame about how they feel. I get it, because I was someone who often deflected how I truly was dealing with life. It was an inner struggle that was unpredictable at best. The less I dealt with it, the worse it became.
Depression is personal. For me, it's a delicate balance, and certain things can tip the scales:
1. Lack of exercise:
My daily 4km walk or ride to the office, audiobook in ear, sets the tone for my day. It grounds me.
2. Isolation:
A year ago last April was tough (it always is - it's when we lost my daughter Maddie to suicide). A friend noticed my struggle and invited me to come and talk. I talked, shared and cried. He invited me to work in his office. That simple act of getting me around people made a world of difference.
3. Human connection:
Introverted or extroverted, we all need it. Check out Pete Bombaci's GenWell Project for some eye-opening work on this. Pete and his team are doing some amazing work in this area.
4. Poor Sleep
Sleep is a major factor that's often overlooked. I wish I could turn off my brain at times. Writing down things that keep me up at night and shutting down the phone does make a big difference.
5. Bottling things up:
We men are particularly guilty of this. Finding someone to talk to—a partner, friend, or therapist—can make our biggest fears more manageable.
6. Financial stress:
As an entrepreneur, the financial rollercoaster can be intense. The uncertainty of paying bills compounds everything else.
7. Difficult times of year:
For me, it's holidays and the stretch from April to June (Maddie's anniversary, Father's Day, and her birthday).
8. Alcohol or drug use:
Over the last 5 years, my relationship with alcohol changed dramatically. I'd have one or two drinks and wake up deeply sad. My consumption dropped, and last August, I decided to give up alcohol altogether. Be cautious about replacing one substance with another - numbing pain this way is a slippery slope.
9. Lack of order:
A cluttered desk can lead to a cluttered mind. I'm not a control freak, but routine habits reduce stress. My best weeks are when I'm organized, with a planned schedule that includes breaks and time for mental health needs. It keeps me on task and running efficiently. Conversely, an empty or overpopulated calendar can have the opposite effect.
10. Medication management:
This is a common question I’m asked about. I've been on this journey with antidepressants for 15 years. It took about 6 attempts to find one where the benefits outweighed the side effects. In the past, I'd stop taking them when I felt better, not realizing I felt better because of the medication. I've decided I'm a better version of myself on meds, but it's a personal choice - they're not for everyone.
I share this to help others recognize their triggers or feel less alone. If you're struggling, please reach out - to a friend, a professional, or even me. You're not alone in this.
Remember, it's okay not to be okay. But it's not okay to stay that way. Let's keep talking, keep connecting, and keep looking out for each other.
#MentalHealthAwareness #Depression #Vulnerability #HumanConnection
