How Can It Be So Dark Even on the Sunniest Days?
Sharing my personal journey in a public forum might invite criticism, but let me assure you, this is not an attempt to air my dirty laundry or seek immediate help from the edge of a cliff. Instead, it is a testament to breaking through the darkness and discovering the remarkable goodness that can emerge from even the most challenging periods of life.
Why?
This story is not about chasing likes, tweets, or shares. It is not a plea for sympathy or an influx of concerned messages. I want you to know that I am genuinely okay. I have been blessed with three incredible kids, a fulfilling relationship, and an extensive friends and family support network. Moreover, I am engaged in work that ignites my passion, alongside a business partner who shares my values.
The Darkest Days:
Life wasn't always grand. In fact, it often felt like an uphill battle. I faced the closure of a business I had nurtured for two decades, the breakdown of my marriage, and the turmoil of working in a toxic environment. Gradually, I allowed my spirits to sink, mirroring the downward trajectory of my business and personal life. I found myself trapped in the grip of depression. Then, one day, I mustered the strength to scream, "Enough!"
Seeking Inspiration:
If sharing my experience can inspire just one person to change their outlook on life, then my story has fulfilled its purpose. But when does this rollercoaster ride finally come to an end? It's hard to pinpoint when it all began, but I realized that I needed to take action to pull myself out of the abyss before descending into an even deeper tailspin. Initially, I was in denial, struggling to accept my depression. However, I came to understand that I needed help—help that I had to initiate for myself.
Navigating the Ups and Downs:
Recovering from depression is far from linear. Even when you believe you've conquered it, unexpected triggers can suddenly thrust you back into its clutches. I discovered that some things I turned to for comfort were detrimental to my well-being. For instance, seeking solace in crowded social environments instead of embracing solitude and finding solace in simple pleasures.
Tools for Recovery:
Though my journey had its fair share of ups and downs, certain practices played a vital role in my recovery. While they are not foolproof solutions, I found that incorporating these habits into my daily life had a positive impact, even on the cloudiest of days.
Gratitude:
Despite moments of self-pity, it is crucial to appreciate the good things in life. Recognize the support of friends and family, cherish your health, and remain open to the opportunities that present themselves each day. Remember, others face challenges far greater than our own.
Embracing Passion:
Finding something you are truly passionate about instills purpose and motivation. Coaching hockey and learning to play the guitar provided something to look forward to beyond my immediate circumstances.
Letting Go of Contempt:
Holding onto contempt, stemming from past events or experiences, only hinders personal growth. Moving beyond anger and resentment allows space for positive change and new beginnings.
Exercise:
Engaging in physical activity, even a simple walk, has significant mental health benefits. It may be the last thing you feel like doing, but the statistics don't lie. Trust the process and prioritize your well-being.
Challenging Self-Deception:
We often tell ourselves stories to justify our behaviours or avoid necessary action. Depression can become a dangerous pattern. Recognize the lies you tell yourself and take steps to break free from self-deception.
Seeking Help:
Seeking professional support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Whether through counselling, therapy, or life coaching, reaching out for assistance can be transformative. Employee Assistance Programs or your family physician can guide you to the right professionals.
Setting Achievable Goals:
Completing even the smallest task each day creates a sense of accomplishment. Start with manageable goals and gradually work your way up to more significant achievements. For example, making your bed each morning can set a positive tone for the day.
Surrounding Yourself with Positivity:
The company we keep significantly impacts our mindset. Surround yourself with positive, energetic individuals who can find the silver lining in every situation. Their enthusiasm and energy will help lift your spirits.
Conclusion:
Life may present challenges and unfairness, but our actions can shape our experiences. It's normal to feel sorry for yourself occasionally, but don't allow it to consume your every thought. Seek support from trained professionals, confide in your family and close friends, and face the issues at hand. Remember, happiness is a lifelong pursuit. We can navigate the darkest moments and embrace the light by taking positive action and refusing to succumb to inaction. I have experienced the reality of depression firsthand, but today, I choose to live one day at a time, content in my pursuit of happiness.
If my story can be of any assistance or provide a shoulder to lean on, I extend an open offer. Depression can make you feel lonely and vulnerable, but I have been fortunate to have incredible people in my life who helped me weather the storm. While I still have my moments, I have learned to recognize them swiftly and take the necessary corrective action. For now, I am content living one day at a time, embracing happiness as it comes.
Check back on Thursday, October 10th (World Mental Health Day) to see what perspective teaches you 12 years later
