Why It's Natural to Feel Sad When Your Child Heads to University

It’s a quiet morning as I sit in the living room, my coffee growing cold in my hands. Just a few short years ago, this house was bustling with activity, but now, the silence is almost deafening. My youngest, Sawyer, is packing up to head off to Dalhousie for his second year. He’s thrilled about moving into a new place off campus with three of his buddies—talking non-stop about their adventures and the freedom they’ll enjoy. I’m excited for him, too, but there’s this ache in my chest that I can’t quite shake.

My eldest son, Zac, has just graduated and will be off exploring Europe for a couple of months with his friends. As I listen to their plans and see the excitement in their eyes, I’m reminded of how fast time has flown by. It feels like I was driving them to their first day of school yesterday, and now they’re out in the world, charting their paths. And while I couldn’t be prouder, a part of me feels a little lost.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

It’s a mix of emotions that I know many of you are familiar with. There’s pride in seeing your child grow into someone you always hoped they’d be. But there’s also a deep sense of sadness and loneliness that comes with this transition. When Zac first left for university, I thought I’d be prepared for when Sawyer’s time came around. But the truth is, it’s still hard. The house feels emptier, and the nights are quieter. 

These feelings are natural and normal. We’ve spent years nurturing, guiding, and supporting our children, and now that they’re stepping into their own lives, it’s okay to feel a little unsteady. It’s not just them moving on to a new chapter—it’s us too.

Coping with the Transition

I’ve learned it’s important to fully allow yourself to feel these emotions. There’s no need to push them aside or pretend they don’t exist. It’s okay to cry when you walk by their empty bedroom or feel a pang of loneliness during dinner. Acknowledging these feelings is the first step to processing them.

Staying connected with your child can help bridge the gap between the excitement they’re feeling and the sadness you might be experiencing. I have video calls with Sawyer almost daily and plan a visit once he’s settled in. With Zac, I know I’ll live vicariously through his travel photos and stories from Europe. These connections, though different from the everyday interactions we’re used to, can help ease the transition.

But it’s also important to focus on self-care during this time. Rediscovering hobbies that may have taken a backseat, reconnecting with friends, or even seeking support from a therapist or a parent support group can make a world of difference. I’ve found that talking with other parents going through the same thing incredibly comforting—it reminds me that I’m not alone in this.

Finding the Silver Lining

While this transition is undoubtedly challenging, it’s also an opportunity for growth for you and your child. As they navigate university life or set off on grand adventures, we, as parents, have the chance to rediscover who we are outside of our roles as caregivers. It’s a time to revisit old passions, set new goals, and maybe even find joy in the quiet moments that were once so rare.

This shift also allows for a different kind of relationship with your child—one that’s more mature, based on mutual respect and understanding. As they move into adulthood, you may find that your bond grows even stronger, with deeper conversations and a renewed appreciation for one another.

Conclusion:

So, know it's okay if you’re feeling a little down as your child heads off to university or takes their first steps into the world. It’s okay to grieve the change, to miss the noise and chaos that once filled your home. But also know that with time, those feelings will evolve. You’ll find pride in their independence, joy in their successes, and comfort in the new rhythms of your life. I’ll let you know when I get there myself.

And remember, you’re not alone in this. Share your feelings with others—whether it’s a friend, a support group, or even in the comments below. We’re all in this together, navigating the bittersweet journey of watching our children grow up and finding our place in the world they’re leaving behind.