What Would You Do If Your Teen Texted You, ‘I Don’t Want to Live’?
What Would You Do If Your Child Texted ‘I Don’t Want to Live’?
Consider this fortunate. You received a warning. Most parents won’t get one.
If you think I’m fear-mongering or using scare tactics, let me ask you this: What would you do if your child sent you a text saying they were thinking of hurting themselves? Or worse, what if the police showed up at your door to tell you your child was gone?
These are not hypothetical questions. They are the stark reality for countless families. I create these visceral images not to scare you but because I need you to understand the unimaginable pain of that moment. Trust me when I say nothing will prepare you for it. And once it happens, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering, What could I have done differently?
Parents often ask me, “What can I do to help my teenager avoid a mental health meltdown?” The truth is, there’s no magic pill. You can’t ground them into better mental health, and sending them to their room won’t solve the underlying struggles. But here’s what you can do: listen.
Listen very carefully—not just to what they’re saying, but to what they’re not saying. Pay attention to their silences, their shifts in mood, and the subtle ways they may be reaching out without words. Teens often won’t approach you directly and say, “I’m struggling.” But they’ll leave clues. It’s our job as parents to be present enough to notice them.
More importantly, you must get ahead of it before the crisis starts. That means education—for you and your child. When I ran the How Are You Feeling program, we gave all parents access because understanding emotions is vital. But here’s the shocking part: Less than 5% of parents actually watched it! Those who did were incredibly grateful for understanding how to talk to their teen or, more importantly, how to listen.
A few years ago, I was invited to speak at a middle school to teach parents how to recognize teen mental health struggles. The day before I was supposed to speak, the event was cancelled. Why? Only three parents registered.
Parents want the best for their kids, but the best outcomes don’t happen by accident. And they definitely don’t happen by waiting for symptoms to show before you act. I’m not saying you’re bad parents, but I will call you naive. If you think this couldn’t happen to your child, you’re rolling the dice with their well-being.
Does learning about emotional health guarantee your teen won’t struggle? Of course not. But it significantly improves your chances of understanding, supporting, and helping them through tough times. More importantly, it equips you to respond when the unthinkable happens.
So, parents, it’s time to wake up. Stop waiting for the signs to be obvious. Stop assuming your child will come to you if they’re struggling. Be proactive. Educate yourself. Create a space where your child feels safe to share. Because the scariest call or text you’ll ever get is the one you’re not prepared for.
I never want another family to experience the pain, heartache, and loss of what I’ve lived through. Don’t let regret be your teacher. Start now. For your child. For yourself.
