Grief Doesn’t Get Smaller; You Learn to Grow Around It

People Say Time Heals All Wounds. It Doesn’t.

If you’ve lost someone, you already know the truth:
Grief doesn’t shrink. It doesn’t fade. It doesn’t magically disappear with time.

You just learn how to live with it.

You build around it.
You grow around it.

And somehow, with the help of love, support, and a bit of purpose, life starts to take shape again.
Not the same shape.
But one that can still hold meaning, joy, and connection.

What 10 Years of Grief Has Taught Me

When Maddie died, my world was turned upside down.

Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically. Financially. I was broken in every way.
For a long time, I couldn’t do much besides write. That was the only way I could move.

Over time, I began noticing the cracks in the system. I saw the missing pieces in how we support our kids, how we talk about mental health, and how we treat grief.

Messages poured in. Other parents. Other families. All carrying pain like mine.

That’s when the shift started.
I stopped asking how to move past the pain and started asking how to move with it.

What It Means to Grow Around Grief

Growing around grief doesn’t mean you’re “over it.”

It means you learn to laugh again, without guilt.
It means you remember them, and smile, not just cry.
It means you stop pretending it doesn’t hurt… and just let it be part of you.

Some days, you’ll feel strong. Other days, you’ll feel like you’re starting from scratch.
That’s okay.
That’s growth. You’re heading in the right direction.

How You Know You’re Growing, Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It

You might not notice it at first.
But here are some signs that you’re finding your way forward:

• You talk about them without breaking.

• You support someone else going through loss.

• You create things that honour their memory.

• You start to forgive yourself.

• You believe, even a little, that you can feel joy again.

That’s what growth around grief looks like.
It’s quiet. But it’s real.

How to Support Someone in Grief (Without Trying to Fix Them)

If someone you care about is grieving, here’s the best advice I can offer:

Don’t try to fix it.
Don’t offer timelines or silver linings.
Just be there. Share a story. A picture. A moment they will treasure.

Say their loved one’s name.
Let them cry. Or say nothing.
Just show up.

Grief doesn’t need solutions. It needs space. And love.

Live in a Way That Honours Them

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.
But now, I try to live in a way that would make Maddie proud.

I talk about her.
I build things in her name.
I help kids who are struggling because I know how it feels to lose one.

That’s why I created Maddie’s Fund for Emotional Intelligence.
Why I’m building MindGrade and MentorWell.
And why I’ll never stop saying: we can do better for our kids.

Grief didn’t take my purpose.
It gave it shape.

You Don’t Have to Get Over It, You Just Have to Keep Going

The grief hasn’t gotten smaller.
But my life has grown around it.

It has roots now. Branches. Even light.
And you can build that, too.

So if you’re grieving or love someone who is:
Keep going.
Keep growing.
Not past it. Not through it.
Around it.

Keep the Conversation Going

If this resonates, share it.
Send it to someone who’s grieving.
Or drop the name of someone you’re carrying in the comments.

We never stop missing them.
But we can keep building something beautiful in their honour.