Maddie's Beautiful Message of Love this Christmas

Finding Joy After Loss This Christmas

The holidays have always been a season of love, generosity, and connection. But for those of us who have lost someone we love, it can also be a time of tough reflection. The laughter, traditions, and joy we once shared with them can feel distant. Yet, even in the face of grief, the holiday season offers an opportunity to honour their legacy and embrace the values they held dear.

For our family, one tradition that embodied the true spirit of Christmas was volunteering at the Toronto Mission on Christmas Eve. It was a day filled with humility and joy as we shared breakfast with those who had far less than we did. After the meal, we’d sing in the choir and watch as children’s names were drawn to receive Christmas presents. For many, it was often the only one they would find under their tree if they had one.

Before we went, we would always remind our kids of the significance of these moments. We told them how lucky they were and explained that these gifts were donated to children who might otherwise have nothing. At just 10 years old, Maddie didn’t need a long explanation. She understood more than I could have imagined.

That year, something extraordinary happened. Maddie’s name was called during the gift draw. For a moment, she looked surprised, but then her expression shifted into something I’ll never forget. She marched up to the front with conviction, chose a gift, and instead of returning to her seat, she walked straight to a little girl who hadn’t been called and handed her the present. The little girl’s face lit up with joy, and so did Maddie’s.

Maddie's smile was radiant when she sat back down at our table. It wasn’t proud or self-congratulatory. It said she had just felt the pure joy of making someone else’s day. That was the moment I realized Maddie “got it.” She understood what it meant to give from the heart.

Now, years later, with Maddie no longer here to share these traditions, that memory shines even brighter. It’s a reminder of her compassionate soul and uncanny ability to bring joy to others, even in the simplest of ways. It’s a lesson that continues to guide me, especially during the holidays when her absence is most deeply felt.

Grieving during Christmas can feel overwhelming, but I’ve learned that the best way to honour Maddie’s spirit is to embrace the values she lived by.

Here are a few ways I’ve found peace and purpose during the holidays, and I hope they might help you, too:

1. Honour Their Memory Through Action

Maddie taught me the importance of giving back. Whether volunteering, donating, or simply performing a random act of kindness, these gestures are powerful ways to carry on their legacy. This Christmas, consider creating a tradition in their memory, like preparing a meal for someone in need or supporting a cause they cared about.

2. Celebrate the Joy They Brought

Grief often highlights the void, but Christmas is also a time to celebrate the love we’ve been fortunate enough to experience. Reflecting on Maddie’s life, the laughter, the kindness, and the way she lit up a room helped shift my focus from sorrow to gratitude.

3. Create New Traditions

Creating new ones can help fill the void when loss disrupts old routines. For our family, this has meant finding ways to keep Maddie’s spirit alive, like hanging an ornament in her honour or giving a gift to a stranger. These small but meaningful gestures bring her presence into the season. It also shows others new to the family scene that Maddie is still an essential part of our Christmas tradition.

4. Share Stories

Some of the most healing moments come from sharing memories with those who knew and loved them. This Christmas, I’ll tell Maddie’s story. The story of her giving heart and the smile that lit up the room that Christmas Eve. Stories like these keep her alive and inspire us to live as she did.

Finding Joy Amid Grief

The holidays may never feel the same after loss, but they can still hold moments of beauty, love, and meaning. Maddie’s Christmas Eve generosity taught me a lesson I carry with me every day: the joy of giving is a light that no amount of darkness can take away.

So, as we navigate this season of love and memory, let’s honour those we’ve lost by embracing the values they stood for. Whether through a kind word, a selfless act or simply taking a moment to reflect on their impact, we can turn our grief into something beautiful. We can make it a testament to the enduring power of love.

I’ll remember Maddie’s smile this Christmas as she handed that little girl her gift. And I’ll strive to live as she did: with a heart full of compassion and a spirit that constantly seeks to make someone’s day.

How will you honour your loved one this season?