Breaking the Stigma: Embracing Alternatives to Anti-Depressants

Throughout my journey, I have frequently discussed the crucial role that anti-depressants have played in my life. After the devastating loss of my daughter Maddie, they became a necessary component of my daily functioning. I have even written blog posts highlighting the merits of anti-depressants. However, there comes a point when change is needed, and it becomes necessary to explore alternative options.

It's important to acknowledge that anti-depressants are not without their side effects. They are not a magic pill that erases all the hardships and challenges in one's life. I firmly believe that life, for any of us, is not written in such a simplistic manner. When I initially sought out anti-depressants, I aimed to find one with fewer side effects. I wanted to strike a balance where the benefits outweighed the limitations. It was a journey of trial and error, but eventually, I discovered an anti-depressant called Trintellix that proved to be more beneficial than restrictive.

For those who may not be familiar with my story, I have situational depression triggered by the loss of my business, a failed marriage, and, ultimately, the heartbreaking loss of my fourteen-year-old daughter, Maddie, to depression.

I must admit that I initially resisted the idea of taking anti-depressants. Part of it was due to the stigma surrounding them, but mostly it was my ego telling me that I could conquer this battle alone. However, I reached a point where I realized this was too immense for me to handle single-handedly. I recognized that seeking help was not a sign of weakness but rather an act of strength.

Navigating the world of anti-depressants can be overwhelming. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. I discovered that I needed to take some anti-depressants in the morning to counteract the "jacked up" feeling they gave me. However, this left me feeling edgy, irritable, and agitated, making sleeping challenging. On the other hand, there were others that I took at night, which completely knocked me out and left me in a foggy and indifferent state the following day. These medications slowed down my metabolism, leading to weight gain. Some anti-depressants even made me feel mentally off, almost altering my personality. I vividly remember the first one I tried, which triggered suicidal ideation. Understandably, if I didn't find the desired outcome or experienced debilitating side effects, I would discontinue their use. This led me back to my psychiatrist's office, where we would reassess and explore alternative options. It truly was a trial-and-error process. Eventually, I stumbled upon Trintellix, which had fewer negative consequences and more positive effects. While it still had its own side effects, they were manageable, allowing me to function as closely as possible to how I did before my daughter's tragic departure.

My psychiatrist, whom I'll refer to as Dr. G, compared my anti-depressants to insulin, emphasizing that if I were a diabetic, they would be my lifeline for the rest of my life. She made it clear that I would require this indefinitely, and there was no finish line in sight. Popping a pill for my depression would likely become a part of my daily routine for the foreseeable future.

Anti-depressants are peculiar in the way they affect individuals differently. For instance, Prozac, which triggered suicidal ideations in my case, works effectively for 80% of the population, often without many of the harmful side effects I experienced. The intricacies of how the brain and chemicals respond to an individual's physiology are highly unpredictable. If there were a one-size-fits-all solution, addressing depression would not be as challenging as it is

I have encountered friends who, although sympathetic, struggle to comprehend the depths of depression. They have been fortunate not to experience prolonged periods of unhappiness in their lives. However, for others like myself, it is a daily battle. We have adopted various coping mechanisms to navigate the highs and lows we encounter on a daily basis. Medication alone only addresses one aspect of the problem. It is a multifaceted approach that requires daily exercise, regular counselling, a balanced diet, and other factors to keep things in check. Finding sustained happiness is an ongoing battle that necessitates constant fine-tuning. Even individuals who seem to have it all together experience occasional moments of sadness. Acknowledging and accepting this reality better prepares us for those moments.

I have always been one to challenge the accepted norm, not out of spite for my psychiatrist's warning that I should prepare to deal with my depression for the rest of my life, but rather out of a personal drive to explore alternative paths. While I never particularly enjoyed being on anti-depressants, I did attempt to stop taking them in the past, only to realize that they indeed contributed to a happier version of myself. However, it was during the period when I discovered that I needed hip replacement surgery that a significant shift occurred.

The need for hip replacement surgery was undeniable. The intense, persistent pain, the limitations it imposed on my daily life, and the gradual deterioration of my overall well-being compelled me to address it sooner rather than later. Furthermore, I noticed my mood descending into a downward spiral as the pain intensified, casting a shadow over every aspect of my life. I sank into a very dark place, one darker than I had experienced in quite some time. After conducting thorough research on different hip replacement procedures, I scheduled a consultation with the hospital and met with my surgeon. We set the date for my surgery: September 17th. This was in April, and the wait seemed unbearable.

My surgeon recommended a nerve block to alleviate the pain temporarily, which essentially numbs the affected area. However, the relief provided by this method was temporary, lasting anywhere from two weeks to two months. In my case, the nerve block lasted precisely two weeks. As the pain continued to escalate, I realized that enduring until September with this level of discomfort was simply not feasible.

During this challenging time, someone I spoke to suggested trying Cannabidiol (CBD) as a potential solution. CBD is a cannabis compound known for its significant medical benefits, without inducing the psychoactive effects typically associated with cannabis use. It relieves inflammation, pain, anxiety, psychosis, seizures, spasms, and various other conditions, without leaving individuals feeling lethargic or disoriented.

With a newfound hope, I began incorporating CBD into my daily routine, taking it every morning. I noticed a remarkable reduction in pain intensity and a significant improvement in my overall outlook on life. To clarify, I initially continued taking my anti-depressants alongside CBD, as I approached this new avenue with caution. However, after about a month, I made the decision to forgo the use of anti-depressants altogether gradually. To my surprise, each morning, I woke up, half-expecting the dark clouds of depression to roll in, but instead, they never arrived. Additionally, the side effects I had experienced from the anti-depressants vanished. I became more focused on my work, and my productivity increased. CBD had become a vital coping strategy for me, offering a natural and organic approach to improving my mental well-being and several other benefits accompanying its use. It was a transformation I had not anticipated but was immensely grateful for.

While the surgery is now behind me, and I must admit it hasn't been without setbacks, I continue incorporating CBD into my daily routine. Given the challenges I faced post-surgery, my life outlook remains positive. My attitude has become one of resilience and determination. I remain steadfast in my focus on caring for my children and excelling in my work.

I want to emphasize that my intention is not to promote or advertise CBD as a universal solution for everyone. I approached it with skepticism myself initially. I conducted thorough research and sought advice from others who benefited from CBD's merits. My journey of getting off anti-depressants was a fortuitous accident, but the longer I have remained off them, the more convinced I am of the positive changes it has brought about in my life. I am not advocating for everyone to follow in my footsteps, as each individual's circumstances and needs are unique. It is crucial to consult with a medical practitioner and gradually transition if deemed appropriate.

For me personally, CBD has become my new "anti-depressant." It provides a more natural and organic approach to maintaining my mental well-being and several other healing properties. I often find myself contemplating how CBD could have potentially benefited my daughter, Maddie, in her battle with depression. By sharing my experiences, I hope to ensure that others are aware of the potential healing powers of CBD and that no one misses out on the possibility of finding relief and improved well-being.