Beneath the Surface: Exploring the Hidden Realities of Teenage Mental Illness
April 10, 2015, marked the day my worst nightmare became a reality. My 14-year-old daughter, Madeline, tragically passed away. No words can adequately capture the depth of such a loss. There are no consoling words. There is no preparation for it. The hollowness and emptiness left behind cannot be filled.
Uncontrollable tears flow. Guilt and anger consume you. You find yourself believing she'll walk through the front door at any moment, only to be met with disappointment. I'm uncertain which stage of grieving I currently reside in. I know I've experienced each of the supposed emotions at least a dozen times. Perhaps this is the uncharted territory that theorists fail to mention. Maybe each individual's journey is unique.
My daughter took her own life. She had been battling illness for the past few months, in and out of the hospital since December. The NYGH Child and Adolescent Mental Health unit provided her with exceptional care. We desperately wanted her to get better, but she struggled.
When reading the tributes that poured in, honouring her memory, one would question how she could feel so profoundly sad, desperate, and utterly alone.
She went out of her way to help others, even complete strangers. She was intelligent and possessed razor-sharp wit. She radiated beauty, inside and out. She was popular. She possessed qualities that most ninth-grade girls would envy.
Her laughter and smile had the power to illuminate a room. She had countless friends. Love enveloped her like a newborn at a gathering of cupids. Yet, she is no longer with us today.
She battled depression. Numerous questions surround this area of study. There are no quick fixes. There are no simple answers. It is not an exact science.
Adolescent depression and mental illness impact the lives of numerous teenage girls and their families and friends. Our objective is to transform this tragic event into an opportunity to raise greater awareness about this often silent disease. We want to empower adolescents to be able to say, "I need help!"
Some claim that the stigma surrounding mental illness has disappeared. However, I firmly believe that it still persists. Young women, like my daughter, are afraid to speak up. Teenage girls can be judgmental and cruel, and a young woman's confidence is often fragile.
Since we have been open about our daughter's death, we have learned of several young women who have raised their hands and sought help. This is why it's essential to share Madeline's story. Madeline is not an isolated case. On the surface, she appeared as ordinary as any other teenage girl, but what lurked beneath had the power to alter the course of a family forever.
An endowment fund named Maddie's Fund has been established through the NYGH Foundation. Its purpose is to raise awareness about adolescent depression and encourage teenagers to seek help. If another family can be spared the tragedy we endured due to our beloved daughter's loss, this will be our silver lining.
Please join us in promoting greater awareness of teenage depression and mental illness by contributing to Maddie's Fund, care of the North York General Hospital Foundation.
